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Sunday, April 12, 2009

Wear Clothes That Really Fit You - Tip #15 of 50 - How to Be a Curvy and Confident Woman at Any Size

The truth is it can be really tough to fit our curvy bodies and shopping in the wrong stores can be a harrowing experience. If you've ever tried to squeeze into a pair of pants two size smaller, you know what I mean. Most national stores carry plus sizes but let's be honest, they're ugly as all holy hell. For the most part, plus size clothing has been sadly ignored for years, despite the fact that us plus size gals make up nearly 67% of the entire market.

Last year I walked into a Lane Bryant store to do some shopping, and for the first time, I noticed a poster of a woman shapely and curvy like me wearing a variety of outfits the store carried. I later learned the woman photographed is considered a plus size model.

That day I broke out of my rut and bought a bunch of beautiful clothes because I was able to see a variety of different cuts, jewelry, colors and style combinations and visualize them on someone who actually looked like me.

The Power of Role Models - "Success leaves clues." - Anthony Robbins

Fascinated by the impact that simple poster had on me, I began digging deeper and wanting to learn more about plus size models. No I don't want to be one. As Robbins suggests, I want to pick their brains and learn from them. I want to share with you the ocean of resources that they use to be beautiful and confident and feel great lovin' the skin they're in - Because when you look great. You feel great. And I don't know about you, but I'm in no rush to get thinner. I'm happy with the new relationship I have with food and my body and more interested in maintaining my health than dropping in size.

Introducing... Mia Amber Davis - Plus Size Model, Actress, Producer, Activist and Role Model 

Riding on the heels of that inspiration, I interviewed a famous plus size model for my upcoming book, "Lovin' the Skin You're In." Mia Amber Davis is a model, actress and producer who is a fierce activist for size acceptance. She's the lovely face on all the Ashley Stewart campaign ads. Now she represents the new Ashley Stewart line of Butterfly Bras. And she's the Creative Editor at Large for Plus Model Magazine, an online fashion and resource guide for models and the plus size community.

Here is a brief excerpt of our interview and some of her tips on finding garments that fit and how to be a curvy and confident woman at any size:

"Blessed with being raised to have a good positive body image, Mia was comfortable with her very tall, graceful, plus size body for many years. Then in 2003 everything changed. She said, "when I was 150 pounds overweight, my revelation came because I was in a car accident. and the car I was driving was totalled. The EMT's (Emergency Medical Technicians) had to pull me out of the car. One of them was a small really thin girl. I was bleeding, with several broken bones. My hand was smashed. And I was apologizing for being so fat." that changed everything. I kept saying, "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry I'm so heavy."

As I sat for the next three months in recovery, thinking about that moment of apologizing for myself, when I was bleeding and my clothes were shredded, I was really disappointed by my reaction, and those were the words that were coming out of my mouth. It was then that I knew that I had to really look into myself and decide if I was truly happy, and I wasn't happy. I'm happy with the person I am, but on the outside I was scared. I'm at Lane Bryant and Ashley Stewart and all these stores and I'm a size 26, and they only go up to that size. I didn't want to continue like that, so I made a decision to change my eating habits and I decided that I had to start pursuing my life. I had to live my life from that point on, with no regrets. And that meant that I wanted to pursue acting, full time. I wanted to pursue modeling, full time. And that was what I did.

When asked about her first acting role as Rhonda in the movie, "Road Trip", Mia says, "So I'm in my trailer in my famous leopard print bra and panties, wearing my robe and I keep thinking, "I can't believe you did that." I can't believe you're here. Everything in my life is about the bigger picture. And I wanted to represent someone who was fearless and the role of Rhonda was perfect, because she was a big girl and she didn't have any qualms about her size. She wasn't at home watching television, eating on a Friday night. She was at a party.

After doing that role, everything changed. She realized that if she could face her fears and represent large women as beautiful and sexy in the mainstream, she felt brave enough to do anything., It's really about the bigger picture and helping other women see themselves as beautiful and capable."

Mia's tips for being a curvy and confident woman at any size:

Love Your Body Find one part of your body you love. You should be able to strip yourself naked and tell yourself that you love yourself and mean it. But if you want to baby step, find one area that you love and showcase it with your fashion. If you love your neckline, wear V necks, if you love your waist, wear belts, or cinched in garments to show it off. If you love your butt, wear nice jeans and shorter shirts. Keep on finding one area you love and showcase it, until you love all of it.

Wear foundation garments that fit. Granny girdles are out. Body shapers are in. Can you say, "Spanx?" Anything you wear will look better if you have the right body shapers to hug your curves. Every woman should have a wardrobe of foundation garments that she can feel good about.

Get a professional bra fitting Up to 80% of all women are wearing the wrong bra size. Mia recommends that you find a local shop where you can get measured to find out what your bra size really is! Lane Bryant has a special lingerie section called Cacique and there the sales women are happy to measure you and set you up with a beautiful fitting bra in the right size. If you're an ample bosomed woman who's tired of bras digging into your shoulders leaving horrible marks and grooves because your bra doesn't support the weight of your breasts all around then perhaps the Ashley Stewart, Butterfly Bra is for you.

Express yourself. Buyers come into mainstream department stores on average, once a week. To get the clothes and styles you like, tell them what you want. Say, I'd like to see more of this, and less of that. " Ask them why they have straight size models on the wall, if this is a plus size department. Who do I talk to about this? Just speak up, every time you go to the store. It's okay. Speak to the women in the store, speak to the buyers, speak to the department managers, call the store, write emails., Speak to anyone and everyone. We need to have a voice.

Dress to fit your body now. There are several designers who already carry plus sizes. Among them are: Michael Kors, Tommy Hilfiger, Donna Karan, Nine West, Calvin Klein, Baby Phat, House of Dereon. If you go to Macy's right now, you'll see so many Plus size designers.

Appreciate and compliment other women. Tell another woman of curves how beautiful she is even if she's a stranger. Mia says, strike up a conversation with your fellow curvy sister and go ahead and ask her where she got that killer bag or her fabulous shoes. She'll love you for it! And you'll get to find another resource that you may not have known about before.

Some final words of wisdom from Mia. She says, "you have to be able to love yourself, no matter what size you are, whether you're 150 pounds overweight or 5 pounds overweight. My message is that women should not wait for the weight to come off before they start living their lives. We really need to start living in the skin we're in at that moment as opposed to waiting until we love ourselves because we're lighter or because we're thinner."Stop waiting to lose 10lbs. before you start to live your life!

Now that you have all these great ideas straight from a pro, who's in the fashion biz, you'll know what to do to get more of what you want. So what will you do next?

[expert=Andrea_Amador]

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